Today's blog is the most personal one I will likely ever share.
I'm sharing it because I think it's so important to learn how to react to what happens to us in life, no matter how horrible or adverse it seems.
It's crucial to react with the kind of empowerment and discernment that leads us toward the growth of becoming our highest and best selves versus the dismal alternative of becoming jaded and perennially suspended in pain.
The last year and a half have been my most powerful opportunity to step up and do this.
I filed for divorce and a restraining order on June 29th, 2017, ten months after marrying someone I had known very well since I was 18 years old.
It was the single hardest and the best decision of my life – to free myself from a massively dysfunctional, highly abusive situation I had unintentionally become embroiled in, out of seeing the unrealized potential of another person I deeply loved, and believing against all odds that they could and would rise and become who they were truly meant to be.
Unfortunately, love does not conquer all, and no one can do the work for you that you are meant to do for yourself.
Those ten months were the most shocking, painful, and disappointing of my life to date.
It brought me deeply back to my childhood where I was co-dependent as a result of having an alcoholic and addict brother who created a constant cycle of chaos in our home, every six weeks like clockwork.
I was the peacemaker, the healer, “the good one”, the responsible one, and the counselor who tried to soothe the entire family and make everything better, and then to pretend it wasn't happening at all because it was too painful to absorb and accept.
Little did I know that the seed of co-dependency was still alive and well in my cells decades later. All it needed was just a little water from an addicted counterpart to resurge.
We all have our blind spots as they relate to ourselves.
Being on a spiritual path in life, with my primary life goal being to evolve and self-actualize, it makes perfect sense that I would attract a similar situation in my adult life – marrying someone I thought I could help save so that I could have the opportunity to finally heal this part of myself once and for all and eventually have the opportunity to move on and attract the love I truly deserve.
I had heard it before…
Healers tend to attract damaged people.
Empaths tend to attract narcissists.
I never thought it would happen to me until it did.
Starting with our abusive honeymoon, the same three thoughts began playing over and over in my head for months on end…
This is not my life.
I don't tolerate this kind of recklessness, irresponsibility, and abuse.
This is not the person I married.
Six months of weekly Al-Anon meetings and talking with others in my same situation as well as seven months of weekly private somatic therapy and intense couples therapy finally bridged the gap for me from denial to acceptance.
This was my life.
I was tolerating this kind of recklessness, irresponsibility, and abuse.
This was the person I married, or at least whom he had chosen to become.
Our therapist put addiction in such a way that was quite enlightening for me. She said that asking an addict to recover (especially one in his 40s who's still in denial and unable to take accountability for his actions, nor accept the consequences of them) in order for a relationship to thrive would be the difficulty equivalent of them asking me to cut off my left arm for the health of the relationship.
In that single analogy, I understood addiction as a true and real disease in a way I never had before. I accepted it and developed great compassion for the disease and for my soon-to-be ex-husband who had lost his strength and his formerly beautiful light to this soul-sucking disease.
I watched someone so formerly full of kindness, warmth, love, light, and generosity relinquish ownership of his soul right before my eyes, succumbing to a constant whirlpool of darkness and debauchery.
After studying personality changes in addicted people, I understood that when their addiction progresses to a certain point, the person you once knew and loved no longer exists – you cannot find any component of the positive attributes of the person you once fell in love with amongst the muck they are mired in. Only a shell remains.
It's hard to reconcile because they still look and sound the same, but yet are completely vacant to who they used to be.
Now that the truth had full circle revealed itself, what was I going to do about it?
Well, I got pregnant unexpectedly (yes, this is coming from the girl who wrote the book on preconception planning ;)) and that's how I made my decision.
A new, truly helpless being now needed me to be completely healthy in mind, body, and spirit to bring him forth. He needed my love, attention, emotional support, and money so I could no longer afford to waste those things on a lost cause.
This was my first act of motherhood to protect my prenatal period so that I could grow the healthiest baby with the least amount of stress.
It was the single hardest, and best decision of my life. I can wholeheartedly say that now, mostly on the other side of the madness, I'm happier and more fulfilled and feeling more supported than I ever have in my life.
The greatest advice I can offer you if you are in a seemingly impossible situation is to let go of what holds you back so that you can hold on to what matters most.
The truth, no matter how painful it is at the moment, is always best because it always creates the right reality.
I've been “working” hard on my spirituality since I first realized I was “on the path” at age 21. This particular spiritual work, however, was the hardest and most valuable work I've ever done and for that, I will be eternally grateful.
It stripped me down to the very core of who I am and forced me to bring that person forth full throttle.
As a result, I now trust myself in a way that I previously did not think was possible. I trust God and my angels in a way that has, for the first time in my life, freed me from the need to control outcomes or even next steps.
I've developed and been so supported by a kind of angelic, impermeable strength (as well as by my family and close tribe of women friends who are my soul family) that tells me no matter what, I have everything I need to provide for, protect, nurture and nourish my son. I can do this single mom thing, and I can do it well.
Below I'm sharing the lessons I've learned as a result of facing the pain of this experience head-on and using all the spiritual tools available to me. I sincerely hope that they help you and can apply to any type of difficult situation you may be facing or face in the future.
Here are things I now know for sure:
- Each one of us is so much stronger than we could ever imagine.
- A woman carrying the magic and purity of creation inside of her is outrageously empowered and protected.
- If you say YES to your lessons, and meet your fears head on, connecting to your higher self in spite of your fears (it's not easy!), you will rise above the energy of fear and intimidation and be placed in the energy of love and connection and that is the only place from where decisions should be made.
- We all have an emotional elevator where we can push a button (via meditation and prayer) and go up a few floors where the air is easier to breathe, and hope and peace are abundant, no matter what we're going through (I share a resource for how to get here at the end of the blog).
- Whenever you feel the most out of control in your life, be grateful – because there is no place left to go but up. You are ripe for change – the kind of change you might have previously thought to be impossible. This is the perfect time to start a new workout routine called TRUST – trusting yourself, your higher power, and the process of life. It's a difficult workout, much harder than Cross Fit 5x/week, but when the muscle of trust has been built and strengthened, just like any other muscle, it works for you whether or not you're working it and the magic of FLOW happens. And while in that place of flow, you are in manifestation alley – where all your dreams are possible and probable. Dark energies can no longer find you when you are in this place because you are vibrating too high.
- Focus on the light, on what you do want, and on staying completely plugged in and connected to your higher power and the dark parts of yourself (we all have them) and your life will naturally fall away.
“Once you connect with an awakened woman, understand that she will not entertain your ego, nor play on lower vibrational frequencies with you. This means you must either rise up to meet her where she is or be prepared to vibrate out of her experience altogether. None of it is personal. All of it is vibrational. Level up, or vibrate out. She doesn't mind either way.” ~ Spiritually Awaken Soul
- Always pray for the highest and best for everyone involved and never wish ill on anyone, no matter how much they hurt you. Instead “look at another person's behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time cease to react at all.“~ Yogi Bhajan
- Remember that “Hurt people, hurt people” and take steps to resolve your own hurt within yourself in the cleanest way possible so that you don't pay hurt forward on someone else in your life down the line (especially your children or your next relationship). Being clean with your energy is one of the greatest legacies you can leave and also leads to great personal freedom. Click here to read about and to do the powerful forgiveness process I went through.
“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” ~ Robert Muller
- Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.
- In the chess game of light versus dark, the force of light always wins.
- Pressure turns coal into diamonds. Whatever challenges you might be going through now or in the future, know that you might bend, but you don't have to break. Mine the diamond and use it to shine brighter than ever.
The gratitude I have to friends and family coming back into my life with full throttle support once I was finally honest with them about the massive dysfunction that had taken place has been the most overwhelmingly positive experience of my life. Reach out and ask for the help and support you need.
The support I've received has been humbling, nurturing, comforting, strengthening and an immense blessing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to my inner circle – you know who you are.
I am certain that this past year and a half and the experiences it held will make me a much better mother to my sweet baby boy, who I know is my highest life blessing to date.
So to my former soul mate who became my greatest life teacher, I say “thank you, I forgive you, and I wish you the best”.
Know that it's okay to be compassionate and fierce at the same time. You don't need to have a former perpetrator in your life in order to forgive them.
I end this experience with a heart full of gratitude and optimism for the bright, happy future I am in the process of co-creating.
If you run into me or anyone else who's getting or has gotten divorced before you say “I'm sorry to hear that”, you might just consider adding, “and congratulations – the best is yet to come” because after all, everyone's entitled to a mulligan.
In Al-Anon and AA, they say the serenity prayer…
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
I would like to modify that a bit…
Only you can decide as to what is unacceptable to you, but when you do – honor that above all else.
“The woman (or man) you're becoming will cost you people, relationships, spaces, and material things. Choose her (or him) over everything.” ~ Unknown
Here are several resources that helped me tremendously as I navigated my way out of the darkness and back into the light throughout this “whole journey”.
There are also several amazing counselors that I can highly recommend. If you need a referral, you can email our team at [email protected] so they can point you in the right direction.
Resources
The Courage to Change
One Day at a Time in Al-Anon
Language of Letting Go – Daily Meditations on Codependency (this is an iphone app that I still read every day)
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff
How Al Anon Works
11 Warning Signs You're Being Gaslighted in a Relationship
How Alcohol Impacts Spirituality
10 Warning Signs of Alcoholism
Is He or She an Addict First or a Narcissist First?
Higher Self Meditations
My “Empowerment” Playlist on Spotify – (music can really raise your spiritual credit score and pull you up to a higher place of vibrating.)
Here are a few of my favorite quotes from this experience. Please share with those in need.
I am actually happy to glance at this weblog posts which contains tons of valuable facts, thanks for providing these data.
Thank you for this Blog Christa. I have been going thru a similar situation and came to a turning point myself. Your strength is amazing, thank you for all the tips on this.
My pleasure, Lisa. Sending you love and wishes for strength and peace during your turning point and all the way through.
Christa
I applaud you and admire you as a sister, as a woman walking in her truth, as a healer. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your difficult journey with those of us who follow you for our healing. This wasn’t an easy lesson but your insights are valuable and a huge gift to many who share a similar path. May your son bring you much joy.
Thank you, Lyndelle. 🙂
Christa, Thru pain your new found knowledge or life altering info along with the quotes you added and sites to check out gives people even more ammunition to clean out their gut and their mind. It’s all connected and there’s no blood brain barrier. Your private revelation can heal so many no matter what their situation. Once,you saw me spoon feeding my grandson at 4 yrs old as he skateboarded back and forth and you called it Drive By Feeding. He’s 10 now and has a great palate and appreciation for real food. Thank you Christa for all your knowledge! Your boy will bring you so much joy and smiles as my grandson has. A new life, a new beginning.
Oh Cecilia, it’s wonderful to hear from you. Thank you for the kinds words. Little boys are the best. So glad you are enjoying your grandson and giving him a real food influence! Lots of love.
Thank you for the best article I have ever read on divorce, empowerment, and self life. Blessings to you and your beautiful son.
Thanks for that kind comment, Ruth. I’m so glad it was supportive.
Christa, your words and hope discovered at the most difficult struggle of your life is the pure essence of light found in the darkness. Your struggle will be your strength as you let the light of God dispel the ugly life sucking darkness. Love and Continue Prayers
Sometimes you have to let go in order for that person to find themselves but for you to find a better and brighter light. God Bess and enjoy your life going forward.
When it’s over When you split up, you may find it very hard to let go of your ex-partner. This often happens when one partner is keener to end a relationship than the other. If the relationship is really over, learning to let go is important.
This was a wonderful post and congratulations! I have many issues with my husband including alcohol so this was very helpful for me to read….
You did the right thing to make the change for before your son was born. Many blessings to you and your new son.
This just goes to show you how mind altering having the wrong gut bacteria can be. So much so, this X of yours chose to feed them with alcohol over loving you with every fricken moment of his life. It’s depressing how addiction(weedy microbiome)can blind a person to the Beauty that is right infront of them.Talk about somebody that needs to take The Whole Journey! Keep Kicking A– Wonder Woman.
Thank you, Mike. 🙂
I am so very proud of you, you are truly a very strong woman I truly look up too, love always reading your blogs and trying out your recipes. What you did was amazing letting go a part of your life that just was too toxic for you.
You are incredible! I have followed you and used your programs. You have helped me with my health issues and I have admired your bright, positive personality.
I am sad for the pain you have suffered, but I know one thing. That precious soul you’re holding in your arms is very lucky to have you!
May God bless you both.
Gina
Christa, I am so happy to know you and your son are going to be all right. I admire you very much that you are able to forgive, even thought you can never forget. Now, you can begin to build that happy future that you and your son truly deserve. God bless and guide you on your new journey.
Wow Christa, amazing outlook and lessons learned from your experience.
I follow your health journey and am grateful for your expertise.
Jesus is so I love with you, and He invites you to eternal life in heaven after this life.
Check out music by Bethel.
God bless you girl!
Wow. I’m speechless…this is so personal thank you for sharing. I commend you for your bravery…your deep reflection and ultamately making this life changeing descision. I feel like maybe now you can breath a little easier…I love that you shared all that you took from this experience. Thank you. I live in Montreal and don’t know you other than your books and blog but I see you as an amazing person you have helped me grow as a health and fitness professional. I wish you the best in your sons first year of life! My daughter is 15 months and I found it just so intense for the first bit…I love her more than anything in the universe…I also have never been so out of control and anxious in my entire life lol! Either way, congrats, be well and thank you again for your work and your words.
Congratulations!!!!!!!!! I have been following you for years and would have never known. I always thought you were awesome and can’t wait to see what becomes of you next. Nothing but great is my guess. Keep on keeping on!
Christa thank you so much for sharing so openly and graciously your realization and healing journey. I send you healing light and love as you continue to move forward. And congratulations!
Dear Christa,
This is such a beautiful and useful article! Thank you! I am actually sending it to a number of my own coaching clients 🙂
I’d like to share that I personally started with the emotional cleansing in my own life transformation, and I divorced first (a few years ago). Taking good care of my emotions first guided me to take care of my thoughts, and then (in 3rd position) at some point to also take care of my physical body, with nutrition, etc. And that’s how I came to you and your wonderful programs 🙂
I observed that we all start somewhere that has to do with our own gifts and with the best window we have (individually) to see reality. My special window is on emotion (I have the gift of understanding emotions very well). But I was initially blind to the other possible windows. Emotion gradually lead me to see the issues in other areas of my life that I needed to heal and integrate.
So you, Christa, seem to have started with the body and continued with emotion. I started with emotion and continued with the body.
Fascinating! And also very beautiful because it shows that we all need each other 🙂
Thank you again. Much love and blessings to you and your son, my dear Christa!
Catherine
It’s sounds odd to say, “well spoken.” But this must have been part of your grieving process, and it took bravery to announce this to the world. I’m sure this was overwhelming for your at times, and I hope you keep up your strength. God encourages his worshippers to “throw your anxiety on him.” (1 Peter 5:7)
You will have a challenges ahead of you. Every child’s birthright is to be secure and protected, so you will have to negotiate arrangements with the father. Unfortunately, the baby has to still know his father. Divorce has an effect on children.
I wish you success! Please rely fully on God and be convinced that he will provide help with the demands of single parenthood. Psalm 121:3.
Congratulations in taking the hard step of reclaiming your life! I honestly tell people, (as my twins were only 1 when I left their dad), it was the best thing that ever happened to me, as well. I wish you nothing but the best. I wouldn’t change a thing. I love my babies (now 17) and learning to be a single mom has not only made me resilient, but learn to trust myself. I applaud you. Thanks for sharing! Sending you loads of love and light Momma!
Love how you have decided to reach out to others in the midst of your own pain to help others! Best of luck in the 2nd Chapter of your life!
Many Congratulations! Much love and light to you and your adorable little one.
Thank you, Ela
Hi Christa
Thank you for posting this today, it’s so refreshing to know that you have your struggles just like the rest of us. Congrats on moving forward.
Thank you, James.
Christa watched your video on MDA, awesome tips! I am bookmarking your site.
I rarely reach out, but wow. What a raw and beautuful expression of you. Your baby is beyond precious, and what a couragious mom he has. To take such action spiritually freeing yourself is so huge, so amazing. I know you from your blog and work, which inspires me often. I aim to be like you as I’m starting my nutritional adventure.
Thank you for taking the time to reach out and share this kind sentiment, Mattie. Happy to have you as part of our tribe.
Christa, you are an incredible force of joy and inspiration to multitudes of women whose lives are better, thanks to you! I have referred my dear friend Maki to you who has a new program for single moms and a lot to share. You could both benefit from knowing each other. Sending you hugs and best wishes for strength and happiness. Janet Russell, Realtor and Yoga Instructor in California & Maui
Thank you, Janet. xo
Wow, look up courageous girl and your picture would be in the dictionary! I am so happy for you. Your strength and certainty are inspiring. Thank you for all you do leading us all to live healthier lives. I am most grateful for your assistance in bringing my healthy baby girl into the world at 42 years of age. I love being a fierce single Mom. Much love to you and your boy
You are so sweet, Sue. thank you. It was such a privilege to help you when you were brining your sweet angel into this world. Much love to my fellow single mom. xo
You are a very brave woman.Thank you for being true to yourself and keeping your integrity despite the fear of loss. Sending you energy of love and healing and wishing you a better and happier life that you truly deserve. God bless you and your baby,
Thank you so much, Maya.
Thank you for sharing so openly. I left my husband after almost 25 years of marriage and tons of therapy. Hardest thing I have ever done but know in my heart it was the right decision. This post was exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you!
I’m so happy it resonated with you, Elizabeth. Happy you are at peace with your decision.
Thank you for sharing this! It can’t have been easy, but I know it is touching and helping other women in this tribe. I send you love and high frequency vibrations from one mommy to another!
Thank you, Christina.
Thank you for sharing so deeply from your heart. You are definitely a strong soul.
I would like to offer other help when going through a difficult breakup or divorce – Conscious Uncoupling. There is a book out by the same name authored by Katherine Woodward Thomas, it’s a 5 Step process to help move people through from heartache to wholeness.
I was trained by Katherine and am a certified coach in the Conscious Uncoupling process. Feel free to contact me, anyone going through the pain of splitting up.
Brenda http://www.EvoLucianCoaching.com
You have gone through great challenges in your life. (eg.the Whole Journey.) Now again, but widened. Knowing that you need perfect guidance in your life. Are you a Christian, assured of salvation through the work of Christ alone? Eternal importance.
Thank you for opening up your heart to us. Through a lot of soul searching and hard work you were able to rise above the darkness. Your knowledge and wisdom you shared with us are vast and all-encompassing. Thank you for being in our lives. I know you will enjoy being a mom – you have so much love to give to your precious son.
Many thanks for that, Barbara.
I needed this encouragement today. I’m in a agonizing battle about what to do now that so much damage has been done in my marriage due to alcoholism and what I believe is narcissism. I’m trying to find the strength, courage and confidence but as a stay at home mother to 3 children who love their dad dearly, I’m finding it very hard to pursue my decision of leaving…so much so that I’m considering if it’s just one of those things I need to accept and stay bc we are all a work in progress. I’m holding onto the answer I know God gave me, it’s the waiting and gray part that is really tripping me up right now.
I am wishing you clarity and peace as you navigate your way through this and praying for the highest and best for all involved. Know that you are not alone.
Wow, good job! You are a great mom and good person ♡♡♡
Thank you, June. xo
Continue to be strong! Your story will inspire those who are struggling with the same issues in their journey. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Angela. 🙂
I am in shock from this. I had been going through the same horrible ordeal, divorced last year, and am now stronger and happier for it. I would watch your cheery confidence and balanced aura and gain strength from your gift of caring advice. I thought often of what little I knew; you were with your high school sweetheart, loved your father, then had a baby, and I thought there was good in the world that you could have all this. Now to have the rug pulled out from under and to realise we all have our own row to hoe. It makes me sad you were going through all this while you smiled for us, but happy to know you, someone so strong, has been able to survive. The important thing is to release these emotions that can build and get trapped in you and affect your future. It is hard to release such deep issues but I am living proof it is possible. If there is any way I can help you release this pain, please let me know. You have given me so much. I would like to give back. Take care, God Bless!
I appreciate this very real, honest, and supportive comment. So glad you’re a part of our community. God bless you as well.
Thank you for sharing Christa, you are an inspiring light to many <3 Thank you for all you do. Enjoy your boy, he is blessed to call you mom <3
Thank you, LaRee. xo
Hi it’s great to see you shearing you personal story to everyone it such personal stories help others have corage to speak up and stand up God’s blessing and thank you for sharing Gina
Thank you so much for sharing such a private story. Such an encouragement to stay open and believe in the good. Sending you love and light. 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Thank you for sharing your story, I really needed to hear this. I am in a similar, very complicated situation, and I am working through many of the same issues; co-dependency, boundaries, spirituality, trusting the Lord in all things, forgiveness, seeking wise counsel, building a support network. I have not left him (yet), and it may not come to that, but it may, and I am open to either route, as long as it leads to what is best for everyone; I am trusting in the Lord and His timing. So, again, I really appreciate reading your story at this time in my life. So much empowering information, and one of the best tidbits for me is, “Know that it’s okay to be compassionate and fierce at the same time.” Thank you for sharing!
I’m so glad you found it helpful, Melanie. Your trust and faith in whatever unveils for the good of all is quite admirable. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
I just love this, and I am so sorry what you had to go through…but as you said, he was one of your teachers. How brave are you? I’m going through something similar..it is not a spouse, however. I am going to look into Al-Anon…and your resources. Much love your way to you and your beautiful baby!!!
I meant to say How brave you are!!!!
Thank you so much, Michelle. Al-Anon is great for all kinds of issues.
i am adding you to my prayers for protection and continued awakenings. Blessings and love and appreciation for your kind heart and for being a champion of personal authenticity.
Thank you, Spyro.
I pray love, laughter, and joy unspeakable over you Christa. You are light and salt to so very many of us. Your decision to share this part of your whole journey speaks volumes about your kind, teacher’s heart. Many are already processing their stories differently because of your brave decision to share your life with us. Many more will benefit as time moves forward with you and Austin being completely surrounded by God’s great provision, care, and abundance. We are thankful and grateful that you remain thankful and grateful. Glad that forgiveness lives and breathes life and freedom into all of your days. Good decision Christa: blessings are already yours for taking the high road. Get ready for stellar views and great energy and strength infusing your every endeavor and dream. It has begun. Breathe. Deep. Love is all around.
I can’t tell you much this very kind comment and positive sentiment means to me, Brenda. Thank you. I can tell you a most loving human being. xo
Check out the books “Boundaries” by Henry Cloud, and “Me before We” to help prevent ever getting into this situation again. Blessings to you on this journey.
https://www.amazon.com/Choosing-ME-Before-WE-Womans/dp/157731641X
Congratulations!!
Have admired your incredible strength, wisdom, and courage for a long time. You and your son look great together, he is a lucky to have such an incredible Mom.Your fabulous
All the best Christa
Many thanks, Bob.
Dear Christa, I’m sorry to hear that you had to go through this….though the strength and grace you’ve grown and shown yourself (and all of us) is so beautiful! And yes, congratulations! The best is yet to come! Thank you for sharing your story and inspiring so many, including myself. You are truly showing us all that there is beauty in everything. It’s all about gratitude! Big hugs and love to you and Austin! xoxo
Thank you, Karen. And yes, beauty is everywhere if we just look for it. Much love to you. xo
Thank you thank you thank you for sharing your amazing story. I’ve followed your vlogs for quite a while now because you can organize information in a very clear and powerful way and the way you expressed your incredibly personal story with such grace and generosity is so inspiring. I too went through a similar situation leaving my son’s father when I was 5 months pregnant with him. I look back at the with such gratitude because it was the decision that turned my life around for the better. Congratulations to you! I hope the journey you take with your son fills you both with love and joy.
Thank you for this comment, Stephanie. So you know exactly this from experience and I’m glad you’re happier for it. Happy that our information resonates with you and glad to have you in our community.
Thankyou for all the wonderful work you do and for sharing your experience. My life is very similar and it was and still is very hard to let go of an abusive relationship. My baby is turning 24 this Thursday and as a single mom-it was hard but a blessing. Both of us will benefit from your blog
Christa,
I just read your blog and I was totally blown away – not only at your amazing ability to connect emotionally with words but by your spirit, your incredible strength and character to share your story. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you to do, but part of your journey to whole-person wellness.
Your story will help countless others who may be facing fear in similar relationships. I can’t tell you how much I admire your courage and rejoice along with you at the huge breakthrough this course of events is leading you into.
I am reminded of my favorite scripture: Jeremiah 29:11 (message version)
The Lord says: “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”
God is in charge and I am looking forward to see how He uses you. You are one of the sweetest spirits I know, and I couldn’t be prouder of you as a person, a woman and a mom.
BTW – your son is perfectly beautiful and as you said your greatest blessing. I’m so happy you were able to experience the joy of motherhood. You will forever be changed.
Prayers for God’s continued grace in your life.
Love you my friend!
Thank you, Pam – my friend for this kind, loving, and supportive comment and that beautiful scripture. I will reference it often. This sentiment really means a lot. Love you back and hope all is wonderful for you!
Thank you for sharing your insights about such a deeply personal experience. I would like to share the quote you included from Spiritual Awaken Soul but can’t find that title anywhere. Is it a book? A web page? Wishing you all the best
This is an Instagram handle that you can follow, Debby. 🙂
Thank You Christa for sharing yourself and those words in the wisdom, beauty and grace of who you are.
Thank you for sharing Christa! I asked my Angels (Mom & Dad) to watch over you and keep the light bright! Again, you helped us after 5 years of struggle to have the son we could only dream about. We will always be thankful and hold your name in appreciation. Love the Napoli’s your MN Family!
Love you Napoli’s, Jon and that beautiful boy you created. Thanks for the good vibes. xo
Thank you, you are a saint, in my eyes!!! This helped me to put the final polishings on getting over a 5 year soul-tie to a man who was a literal angel to me in the beginning, but then became emotionally abusive. It was because I left that open space of weakness and not loving myself, in action equally. Truly there are times that we can give too much. This might be one of the most important things you’ve written, and I would look forward to any more blogs or insights you have on these kinds of relationships! I do believe that no one is a lost cause, but it takes a strong woman walking out in order to often get the ball rolling. 🙂 Love you! We’ve never met, but I just want to throw my arms around you!
Thank you, Michele for this lovely comment. I am so happy my story resonates with you and is helping you release a toxic soul tie. Sounds like you are well on your way to taking care of yourself. Much love.
Beautiful Christa. Your Angels are cheering you on. Your baby boy is exquisite.
For some of us we are stuck in an abusive relationship with our lower self/fear. This is a tricky relationship and challenging to recognize. Although it can hold us back from the joy and love of life as fiercely as the more concrete dysfunctional relationship. Your courage and ability to express the lessons you’ve learned resonate and so many levels. You’ve helped many people with this heartfelt piece.
Thank you.
Thank you, Laura. xo
Dear Christa
We are soooooo proud of you! Your future (mom & son) is so bright, you have to squint your eyes to see it
I love this optimism, Andre – thank you!
Wow, sweet Christa!! Thank you for sharing this. Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for sharing your dark times, the bad and the food that came from it all. Thanks for you example of strength. I have always had so much respect for you in the health/nutrition area and my respect for you continues to grow.
I so appreciate that Jodi. Thank you.
I’m in awe of your courage, not only to say “no” to the craziness but to openly share the truth with us. It took me seven years of hiding and denial to end my first marriage to a horrible person and addict. You’re right the best is yet to come! My genuine, loving, kind husband and I close are about to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary and have happy, healthy 5 year old twins. Life is so good!
In some ways I’m still healing, have done your candida cleanse and about to start GT5. I love having you in my life and hope we may meet one day. Congrats!
Wonderful to hear your story of triumph, and now happiness and genuine love. Thanks for sharing, Lisa! Best of luck on Gut Thrive in 5 – it will do great things for you!
I am touched at a deep level by your vulnerability in your share…I have experienced a very similar path. It feels good to be reminded of who I am, who I was , and that there is a future me still growing! I get so stuck sometimes in a thought pattern that the best of me has come and gone, now that I am in my fiftys. I am super happy for you and your beautiful baby boy! and the modified Alanon prayer is PERFECT!
I love that you say “it feels good to be reminded of what I am, who I was, and that the future me is still growing”, Virginia. What a beautiful sentiment!
Christa, thank you so much for sharing such a personal part of your life. This has helped me in ways you wouldn’t know. I haven’t experienced a Divorce, but I have experienced a great deal of loss in another area of my life. Last winter I decided to leave a religion that controlled and consumed my life everyday for the past 23 years. I could not grow or be my authentic self and my future was already written for me. All of my family and friends belonged to that religion and it is socially exclusive, you cannot associate with members if you are not one. I never thought I would have the courage to leave, but I did it last November. It has been so tough. For the first time in my life I am completely alone and in a constant battle of guilt and freedom. It is people like you who inspire me to keep going. Thank you again for sharing this and being an inspiration to us all.
I’m so happy you shared this Makenzie. I wanted to write something that could help anyone who needed to make any kind of difficult change in their life to choose a better path. Congratulations to you.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom, truth, and love! My aunt modifies the serenity prayer to, ‘grant me the serenity to accept you, the courage to change me, and the wisdom to know the difference.’ Basically you can’t change others or wait for them to change. Blessings!
I agree, Jessie girl. Thanks for that. xo
Just wanted to add to my comment below: I remember a video you did long ago when you explained the POSITIVE role of the “bad bugs” in our guts… especially the ones that are like teen-agers (can’t remember the term you used) that can “go either way” depending on the health of the overall organism. I found that very deep and enlightening! I will always remember that.
And this is how the narcissistic/co-dependency dance so many of us are dancing also works! IF we can learn from the dance, from the experience of the imbalance, we can rise much much much higher than if we had not had the experience at all. The main lesson is that “aiming to fix” is not the right strategy. We cannot fix “bad bugs” and force them into place in our lives through “trying to change them” or by “making them go away”.
We have to CHANGE OUR OWN VIBRATIONAL STANCE. And then “let the bugs fall where they may”. 🙂
In other words, if we choose to see the “bad bugs” in our life as gifts, and we raise our vibrational level overall, we are actually healthier than if we hadn’t experienced the “bad bug” in the first place. These bad bug experiences produce a very high level of healing, once we raise our own vibrational stance.
If we “try to change” the bad bugs by fixing the “bug problem” directly — as in, “I can fix this person with MY positive energy” we are using our love as a “kill the bad bug tool”.
When really we just need to do what we do for the body: take care of the overall organism and the bad bugs will (by natural means of “vibrational matching”) not be dominant or imbalanced in our lives.
Sorry this got so long and wordy! Your words made me think…. 🙂
Carolyn, I LOVE this!!! You are right to piggyback off my analogy of commensal organisms so beautifully as it relates to relationship! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
Beautifully written. Thank you Christa❤️
Christa, I am so grateful that you have shared your amazing story. You are truly in inspiration to me and I’m sure to everyone who follows you. I can never thank you enough for everything I have learned from you over for the past 2 years. Sending love and best wishes to you and Austin.
Thank you, Karen.
Thanks for your honesty and for naming Al-anon as the place to go for help. I have been where you are, though it took me a longer time to realise I needed to leave. Congratulations on your new phase and new baby. Onwards and upwards! Love your work 😘
Onwards and upwards – thanks Mairead! Happy my work resonates with you and happy to have you with us. xo
Hi Christa, yes, my first reaction to this news was, Oh how sad. I have been in a similar situation and it took me many years to become strong enough to leave. Like you, the journey was painful but well worth it. I am amazed by how much insight you are able to garner, this soon afterward. Speaks highly of you, and your guiding lights.
I still practice many of your lessons and will always be grateful for your kindness and concern.
I wish you and your beloved son all the goodness our universe has to offer. He is a off to a fine start with you as his mom.
Thank you, Ann.
omg — that was wonderful to read! I haven’t followed your work super closely, but I read your blog post about your beautiful baby boy being born! I admit the thought, “see, she has a perfect life!” went through my mind! I let it go, but I did think it…. and you know why? Simply because I didn’t have the information about your REAL life! 🙂 So, THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS. I think the transparency of those who are in the public eye is very important. True transparency is very healing. Every word you wrote was highly enlightening and of very high vibration! It makes me cry to think of how free you are! We all deserve such freedom, and I myself am reaching for that. Thanks again for sharing these personal details of your life. It is very important, significant and healing to share this. I will learn a lot reflecting on what you said.
I so appreciate this comment as well, Carolyn. There really is so much freedom in transparency.
Wow, Christa! Thank you for being such a powerful healer and teacher. Sharing your story and all these resources will undoubtedly help so many people. I’m inspired by you! Thank you!
That was a beautiful blog, thanks for sharing, and may I be one of the 1st in congratulating your son on having such a great mom XO
Thank you for sharing your deep and personal experience Christa. I have 2 adult children going through the pain of a similar situation in each of their lives. I will certainly share with them what you have so honestly shared with your readers.You are a wonderful person and I wish God’s best for you and your new little boy.
Thank you, Mary. I hope the post helps your children.
Christa…WOW! Warrior of light…amazing woman…fierce and nurturing mama! So grateful to you for sharing your story, resources and beautiful, uplifting message! I went through a similar situation around 20 years ago, and it took me many years to stabilize, recover and heal. I am so inspired by your strength, beauty and commitment to love, growth, fulfillment, yourself and your precious son! I have been learning so much from you for years, I love all your health offerings, your book, and I followed your guidance through my preconception, pregnancy, motherhood, and now in the preconception stage again. I’m so thrilled for you that you have stepped into motherhood! What a blessing and a gift! Sending you so much love and encouragement, and cheering for you every step of the way!
Thank you so much, Cara for these lovely kind words and for sharing your story and how much you’ve been a part of The Whole Journey for years now. Very best wishes during this preconception period as you bring new life in again! xo
So inspirational Christa. I had no idea, but if anyone can do the single mom thing it’s you. You are superwoman. Much love and baby boy is gorgeous just like his mama. xoxoxox
Thank you so much, beautiful Arika.
Wow, just wow dear Christa! Your suffering becomes your gift. Thank you for being real, courageous and an inspiration to many, many people. I am so proud of you and love you very much!
Exactly, Flossie… I love that “your suffering becomes your gift”. Love you!
Christa,
Thank you for sharing the journey you have been on for so many months now. Maybe, the journey has been for years. There must be some relief for you in sharing your story, at least I hope so. You’ve always inspired me and you continue do so now. I’m sorry for all that you have gone through, but I know these were lessons you were meant to learn. We are all in the school of life to grow and sometimes the hardships are how we make the most progress. Although, sometimes I think I would like to be held back a grade or two for just a while! I see some similarities we share and will read though all of the resources you have share. Being a pleaser and a caretaker to earn love at my own expense is not healthy love. What a bright light you have been in my life and I’m so very grateful for you. Austin has an amazing mother and I know together you both will be beyond “just fine”. Sending you so much love, joy, peace, and serenity….from my heart to yours!
Exactly, Mary. No one escapes the school of life. Thank you for you kind words. We absolutely love having you as part of our community. I’m sending heartfelt love and hugs. xo
To add: You have also given him the great gift of truth and accountability: both to himself and to his life. Bravo!
One can hope, Sharon. 🙂
Bless you. I often wondered why we never saw him. Being an empath, I felt it.. without words. You are a wonderful mother; a powerful woman. Knowing your thoroughness, you did everything you could. Your Light will never be dimmed, it is shining brighter than ever. There is no greater gift than Peace and you have given that to yourself and your son. Congratulations!
Thank you so much, Sharon. Yes I felt it important to share…This comment is loving and supportive and I so appreciate that!
Than you for this beautiful sentiment!
Thank you for sharing this very personal and difficult experience so that we may learn from it as well. There is too much shame and blame on the people in these situations. Coming to the open with the truth always heals and let’s the light enter a very dark place. I’m grateful that you are fine and your baby is well!!
Christa,
You have been a constant source of inspiration for as long as I have known you.
Having your influence in my life, has affected me on so many levels.
To do what you do, to share what you share, to give what you give, and to endure what you’ve endured, is a testament to just how amazing a person you are.
The world is a better place with you in it.
Your baby boy could not be any luckier.
You have helped so many people nutritionally, spiritually, and physically.
Today, through your blog, and with admirable candor, you have and will bless countless people with your story.
Your courage, your strength, and your determination will serve as a beacon for many who have faced the same challenges, and not known the direction to turn.
Love and respect to you, Christa.
You are a blessing.
You are so very kind, Dan. Thank you so much. Much love and respect to you as well.
Incredible. You’ve spent so much time giving to others, healing others… I’m so happy to see you allow yourself the gift of healing. Congratulations on navigating what I can only imagine was the most challenging choice of your life and demonstrating such grace and perspective on the other side. Inspiring.
Thank you, Lisa. xo
Wow. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw this email. Candidly, it just seemed like you were always a ray of sunshine, glowing, happy, accomplished, fulfilled. I am humbled by your story and its uplifting to know that we are never alone in our struggles. I am such a big fan of yours, and as usual your words and incite resonate with many of us. I just wanted you to know that now, you are all those things I wrote above…. but also a fighter, a lady with grit, and guts!! We all know how hard it is to make big changes like the one you did… and I am here to tell you that I am cheering for you on the other side of the country. Stay strong….
You are so kind and sweet, Susanne. I so appreciate this comment. Much love to you.
Thank you. I was engaged to a guy and his addiction to alcohol surfaced 3 months into our relationship. He choked me one night after I told him
To leave my home. I called the police and the relationship ended that night. Scared the you know what outta me. I’m still single. I desire a partner who loves respects and cherishes me. I know he’s on his way.
I’m so sorry you went through that, Guru Rattan. Very glad you got out and now you’ll attract someone who cherishes you as a result. The best is yet to come!
God bless you for this enlightening essay. I believe many people stuck in negative and damaging relationships will see this and think deeply about your words.
You really are brave.
Thank you, Mary. This is why I wrote it – hopefully to help others. I appreciate your comment.
I feel you there. I have gone through the same a couple times, once married and another with the mother of my children. It is very hard to be your best when you are dragged down by the muck. I confess, I contributed to the muck and have worked on that aspect of myself and am thankful I have been aware of my actions and role in all of it.
I see bright futures for us both.
And if I saw you and you were still single, I might have to ask you out on a date… You are SO cute! Wink, Wink!
Thanks, Ryan. Bright futures ahead for both of us! 🙂
For Sure!
Iam a bit overwhelmed by this candid life analysis of your situation and how you recached out from Darkness to light. A sanskrit shloka says- “lead me from Darkness to Light – from Untruth to TRUTH- from Death to immortality”. May you find peace and happiness and spiritual bliss. May god bless your son!
Thank you, Maj Gen.
This was a lesson I too had to got thru. Though I’m still learning to forgive myself. Congrats on your new son. Cherish him a little extra for those of us who could not/can’t have/or lost their’s.
I will cherish him with all that I am and all that I have, Andrea. Thank you.
You, Christa, are one powerful, strong light that I will forever look up to. Thank you for sharing your story and being honest, courageous, and enlightening. xx
Thank you, beautiful Sara. xo
Thank you for your bravery in sharing this……….it is profound and very helpful…….a reminder I need once in a while after a divorce also…..God Bless you both and much happiness and keep making us all happy with what you do so welll
Thank you, Connie. May God bless you as well.
Spirituality is important, and if you are in the path, as I am, check out this website: Buddha Maitreya.org it’s really awesome and I think you will learn and grow and take you to the next level!
Precious honesty. Thank you and bless you and your new baby boy.
It happened to me too. You grow and are a better person for your experiences.
Christa – thank you for sharing this post. The orinigal meaning of courage was ‘to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.” I hope that by leaning in to the messy it has shown you that love & connection is why you are here, and affirmed all the support in your life and shown how powerful your reserve of strength is. I have been following your blog for > 1 year and you have an authenticity that is rare.
I am expecting a babe in a few weeks, so I wish you the best as a new mother. I followed many recommendations for your conception book after dealing with infertility. Here is a quote that you likely have come across but one of my favs:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson
oooooo…. one of my fav quotes also!
Thank you, Michelle. I love “Our Deepest Fear” and gave it out to every single private client when they signed up for a Whole Journey program. It is the first page of our Nutritional Lifestyle Program so we are on the same page. Congratulations on your pregnancy and blessings to you during birth and beyond. What a precious gift.
Congratulations! A beautiful piece. I ended a 25-year marriage 15 years ago under similar circumstances. Best decision ever. Hugs and love to you and your beautiful son.
Hugs and love back to you, SG. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing so vulnerably, Christa. Such an empowered transformation. Wishing all the best to you and your sweet little son!
Thank you, Noelle!
Wow, girl. What a moving post. Yes indeed,I too thank you for the courage to share it. Keeping secrets, keeping quiet– such big blocks that impede change, which is why telling our story out loud helps SO many. It often takes hearing from others to realize that the “unacceptable” aspects of our life are not normal and Not OK. [I agree with Vernie, that ACOA is a great 12 step program.] What does Rumi say…”we’re all just walking each other home.” I’ll see y’all there.
Totally agree – we’re all just walking each other home. See ya there, Annie. xo
Beautiful.
A beautiful story of forgiveness, healing, and wholeness. Food is only part of our true health and journey. Thank you for sharing so we all can learn from it and cheer you on. You are an amazing mom showing your son the true value of life.
Thanks so much, Maribeth.
I have followed you spasmodic ally over the years and admired the way that you have evolved with integrity in your message. I sincerely commend you for the courage it takes to share such a personal story – the universe unfolds as it should do regardless of how ugly it may seem at the time.Unfortunately the country is in very bad shape health wise and it needs mothers like you to turn it around for your son and the numerous other bundles of joy that will not be shown the way as your little one.
I really appreciate this post, Ashley and the fact that you’ve been with me/TWJ for years. Together, we’ll shape the next generation to make the world a better place.
Hi Christa, I am a single mom of 37 years. God has been my husband and Father to my son, Michael. The Lord will sustain you, provide for you and bring you on the most amazing journey! Looking to Jesus, the Author & Perfector of my life, Who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, scorning its shame and is now at the right hand of the Father praying for us! That’s amazing! I will be praying for you and your son daily. You have blessed me so much with The Whole Journey!
Love this sentiment so much, Jane. Thank you!
On the Spiritual Path, it’s the Lessons and Blessings that awaken you. And with Amazing Grace and true grit, you are a beacon of Love and Light…which is your purpose. Thank you for being you, and blessing the mess!
Haha, yes Dorothy – Bless the mess!
You are grieving in an incredibly graceful way and I’m deeply grateful you’ve shared yourself so personally.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m going through the difficult process of realising that a 20 year relationship is about to end and am in a fair bit of denial right now.
Christa, thank you so much for sharing your story and resources. Congratulations and know that the best is yet to come. Your little one will fill any empty gaps that you may have. He will fill your life with happiness and strength. Be happy!
Thank you, Iris!
Dear Christa, your vulnerability and willingness to share your story is profound. How many lives will be touched by this in an eternal way? You are a bright light in our world and your precious Austin is one blessed soul. You are right, your journey will ripple love into the world.
This is such a kind comment, Lori. I do hope that these sentiments help many who have also or are also struggling. Thank you! xo
Congratulations the best is yet to come! Married to an addict for 18 years June 2017 it became unacceptable for good.
I’m not always compassionate so thanks for today’s lesson. 🙏
Christa,
Thank you for your vulnerability and openness in sharing your story! It has inspired hope and confidence. I am excited for you and trust you will continue to allow God to direct your steps. Blessings and best wishes to you and baby Austin. You a strong woman!
What a beautiful article. I went through the EXACT same thing this last year. The strength that comes with honoring your higher self and soul cannot be matched. To make this decision is one of the hardest things to do. To see past the toxicity and junk and make a decision to better your life is so beautiful. Every day gets better and better! Congratulations!!!!!
And congratulations to you, Elyse!! Thank you for your kind comment.
Wow! It’s amazing how something comes up when we need to hear it. For hope, for clarification, for strength and inspiration. Now the hurdle, take action. Thank you for sharing. I will say, I am glad you found the inner strength you needed to make the break sooner rather than later. It only gets more difficult with time.
Happy it was supportive to you, Daphne.
Thank you so much for your vulnerability and sharing this. I am in the process of telling my spouse and marriage counselor – in a few hours – I am completely done. It is an exhausting ride. I’m full of support and take your words to heart that it will too, be the best thing for me and the best is yet to come. Love and Light
I know that place you are in well, Michelle and am sending you strength, love, and wishes for as much grace and peace as is possible throughout your transition. Godspeed.
Christa,
I am so sorry you had to go through such a rough experience. I admire and respect your strength and courage and wish you and your beautiful baby boy much love success and happiness. You (and have been) are an inspiration to me and my health journey. Thank you for sharing this experience with us.
Thank you, Yasmin.
Thank you for sharing such a personal journey with us. This touches close to home for me and I am guessing many more out there. Your strength is amazing!
I am glad it was helpful, Andrea. xo
You had me at hello, all while inspiring and empowering those around you. Your child will be truly blessed with your guidance.
Thank you, Dan.
Hi
Just read your blog regarding divorce. CONGRATULATIONS!
You go girl!
Being a nurse and an empath I related to so much of your trip. ” Once you’ve connected to an awakened woman……” really hit home for me. I really want to Thank you so much for sharing. I will save this and refer to it as needed over time.
Much love to you and your baby
Reeva Greenberg age 73
Thank you, Reeva and much love to you!
Way to go Mom! Thanks for inspiring all of us to be our best! Sending you lots of love and prayers!
Christa how courageous! You are a force of light for good, for all. Blessings.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and how you have discovered that God is helping you to do life differently. I so identified with your childhood experience. By attending Al Anon meetings I learned of another amazing 12 step program that is helping me understand why I became codependent–It’s called Adult Children of Alcoholic and Dysfuntional Families. Neither of my parents were alcoholic but my grandfather was, so dysfunctional family life was handed down. This program guides the process of looking at our family of origin issues, reveals how our hurt inner child developed traits to survive the chaos, and encourages that this false self can be replaced with our true self–the person we were meant to be who can learn how to choose safe relationships. The big red text, the 12 step workbook and the daily affirmations called Strengthening My Recovery, as well as meeting with a fellow traveler, have helped me so much. There are even phone meetings if you are unable to get out. My children are grown, but how I wish I’d had these resources before raising them, along with these books by Henry Cloud and John Townsend: Safe Prople: How To Find Relationsships That Are Good For You And Avoid Those That Aren’t, Boundaries, Boundaries In Marriage, Boindaries With Kids, Boundaries In Dating, Changes That Heal, The Mom Factor, Necessary Endings and more. I would have been a better mother if I’d had these tools then. It is difficult to see that some of my survival traits have been passed on to my children, but it’s never too late to make changes, so I am learning to relate to them as adults in a much healthier way. Christa, it took a lot of courage to take this step for you and your new baby boy. I pray that God will bless your heart with healing and provide abundantly for you both. May you find peace, strength, joy and hope in His amazing love.
Your vulnerability in sharing has an impact in so many different ways. Bone broth and kale do NOT cure all! I came to that epiphany too. Followed you for years, your candida protocol saved me. Read your pregnancy book and finally had my precious baby girl I dreamed of. Sadly she died at 22 days of a chromosomal abnormality. It brought me to my knees in surrender, learning to trust in a deeper way since I now truly understand so much is out of my control. The spiritual journey from this is unmatched. Blessings to you and your son-shine!! Xoxo
Thank you, Lori. So happy you’ve been with us for years. I cannot express my condolences enough for your loss. Just know that you and your daughter are in my prayers and I’m wishing peace for you after that loss. So much is really out of our control in life… Much love to you.
Thank you so much for this comment, Vernie.
Continued blessings to you and your son! Thank you for sharing your journey – it’s a good reminder for all of us – you appear so together and on top of it (and, you are!), but you are human, like the rest of us. It’s important not to judge ourselves by looking at the “outsides” of others; we all have our own struggles. I’m so happy to know that you are on the otherside of that most difficult chapter. Relish every moment with your little one. You have inspired me to make a change in my own life!
Thanks so much for this, Andrea. xo
Dear Christa, your courage and strength shines. thank you for sharing your story with us. you truly walk,talk and share the whole journey. YOU are an inspiration…
.many blessings
Just love and respect for you! Thank you.
Christa, thank you for sharing. I can empathize and sympathize with you. I have the same type of personality and with Gods strength broke off a very terrible marriage with someone out of control with addictive behavior and low self-worth. I forgive, pity, and feel sorry for him. I am delivered and free! Praise Jesus! All the best to you and your little one.
Congratulations on freeing yourself, Tiffany. xo
You are AMAZING! I went through almost exactly the same situation, though I was married for 3 years & didn’t step away until my son was a month old & my ex came at me while I was holding him. It was a long & mentally waring path, but I felt free. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story 💙
I’m sorry you went through that with a newborn, Tiera and so glad you were strong enough to get out and claim your freedom for both of you. Much love.
Good luck Christa and son – and God bless. I was there but I waited in fear and my sons had to endure 10 years until God moved me to have the courage to make a change. The mistake I made was in staying fearful of trusting again – go forward in faith and you will be fantastic. I wish you all good things!!
“Go forward in faith and you will be fantastic” – Words to live by, Gail! You are brave.
You are an inspiration of an enlightened woman in the world bringing forth optimism, kindness and light. Thank you for sharing and blessings to you Christa!
Thank you so much, Patricia. Much love
Wow Christa. Thank you for sharing your story of strength and inspiration. You are incredible and your little guy is so lucky to have a Mama as wise and beautiful as you. I send you wishes and prayers of happiness, love and peace always!
Thank you so much, Kelly
🍃dear Christa, you have always been a beautiful example of womanhood and now, in this season, you continue to shine for yourself, your son, and for all of us, thank you. My heart and prayers are with you.
Thank you so much, Kristen.
Congratulations!
I am here to offer some simple perspectives on complete peak optimum heath as it pertains to the supreme act of peace or balance or foundation of well being! Good luck !!
OMgosh, this is so powerful to me. Thank you so much ! I love your version of the Serenity Pray. It’s perfect. Congratulations to you honoring yourself and now your baby boy. You are an inspiration .God Bless. 💜
You are such an inspirpation Christa. Thanks for being so vulnerable and for all that you share with others!!
Oops! It’s too early for me and I spelled your name wrong. Sorry Christa.
Dear Krista,
You are an amazing woman. I applaud you for you positive attitude. Too many women (and men) stay married for the sake of the child, rather than realizing that staying together actually can do much harm to the child. You definitely CAN do the single mom thing. I became a single mom many years ago due to the sudden death of my husband. I didn’t think that I had a chance…but my kids are now 28 and 29, out on their own and thriving. People always said to me that they didn’t understand how I did it. I tell them I stayed strong for the kids. I wish you the best of everything. Sincerely, Jan
Thank you, Jan. These children provide us with so much strength.
Holy shit this could not have come at a better time for me. Thanks christa, from one person going thru intense change to another.
Congratulations on the path you have chosen.
Christa I am so proud of you.Thank you for sharing your strength and wisdom gained.Congratulations for moving forward on your journey.
Good for you! You can do this!! Praise to you for seeing it so soon.
I raised 3 kids by myself after leaving their absusive father. But I had stayed 8 years to long. It took me time to heal my body after all the stress but in time I grew stronger. Its the hard things I went through that pushed me to be a better me and now go out to help others. I am a nutritionist as well. And of course an empath. So we must always be sure to take care of us so we can help others. All the best and blessings to you and your little bundle of joy!!
Thank you, Nicole for sharing your story. It does take time to heal your body from the prolonged stress. I am so happy that you are helping others now. Blessings to you as well.
Thank you for sharing Christa. Your are a force for good. I appreciate all you do. I cried a ton reading your email. I am excited for you.
Thank you, Radhika. 🙂
Bravo Warrior Woman! Thank you for selflessly sharing your story to inspire and help others. Unfortunately too often we hide the personal stories that aren’t bright and shiny due to this ideal of perfectionism that society follows. True personal growth and evolution is in the struggles and challenges that we face. I have been struggling with making an “adult decision” (hate those:()and fear has been controlling that decision process. I truly believe in signs and your story is the last and final sign Christa in helping me kick fear to the curb and move forward with strength and excitement to new possibilities. THANK YOU!!! Motherhood was the game changer for me as well in dealing with a challenging childhood but as evolved as we think we are, we sometimes fall and fear has always been a problem for me. I’m so excited for you and your beautiful son and the journey you are about to embark on together. Sending you both oodles of blessings and love!!!
Thank you so much, Stacey!
What a raw and beautifully expressed account of your journey. Your “whole journey”. Thank you so much for sharing this with your tribe. I think there is a message in your blog that resonates with all of us in some way or another and we can all learn something more about ourselves and our true strengths. There is no greater gift, in my opinion, than the privilege of becoming a parent and I wish you and your beautiful baby the best. Thank you for always sharing your gifts with the rest of us. You truly are a brave and beautiful soul.
I so appreciate this kind message, Shelly. Thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are so brave and have helped so many people through your experiences. Sending you big hugs and lots of prayers!
This is the best and the most sincere article I’ve ever read. As I was inhaling every word and at the same time wishing there were more I was so proud to know you personally and your family. You are truly making a difference in this world and you have a wonderful son to follow in your footsteps! Good luck going forward!
My dear, Helen. It’s so nice to hear from you here. Thank you so much for this comment and for the kind words and wishes. Much love to you.
From across the miles, my heartfelt ‘congratulations’ for not only the birth of your truly divine son, but also for the birth of this new chapter, this new you, and this new life you get to share with him. He chose you as his Mum this life, and he chose so well. I don’t normally write comments, but this has to be one of the most courageous posts I’ve read…blessings to you and your sweet, gorgeous son. Much love, Sandy, Australia
Thank you for reaching out from across the world with your good wishes, Sandy. Much love to you
Thank you for sharing your story. It sounded eerily similar. Growing up in a home riddled with addiction on both sides and being the “ good one” in the family. It was no surprise that I married someone with addiction issues. I was in al-anon as well. Read all the books. It wasn’t until i got pregnant and a switch went off. I chose to raise my daughter as a single parent. Finding strength i never knew. The journey is such a personal one yet hearing you and others connects us all. For me it helps tremendously knowing I’m not alone and it helps me deal with the guilt shame and embarrassment i felt for the choice I made. It’s been over 10 years now and watching my daughter grow not such a healthy happy young lady is a gift. As she has taught me so much more in her short years here than my longer life 😉. In part it’s also from the support of this community of alternative living that i often found the strength to raise my daughter how I saw fit which is very often the road less traveled. So thank you for your help and your programs. May this new journey with your little one be as graced with much happiness and love. In gratitude
You have been through a lot, Kathy – thank you for sharing. It does connect us all to share our experiences and how we move beyond them and learn and grow from them. I’m so happy for you and your daughter. Much love to you
Well done for a soul baring yet uplifting post. The tips are great too and also came at a very pertinent time for me – not personal relationship related for me but your advice can be applied in all dealings with others. So thank you! You’ve already helped someone else too!
Happy to hear that, Sia!
My heartfelt sympathies to you that you had to endure such a gut-wrenching relationship, but more than that, my CONGRATULATIONS to you for making the difficult decision to take care of yourself and your precious baby boy. You are such a bright and shining spirit, and knowing that you have nothing holding you back to be your highest and best self, thriving in a way you may never have to date, makes me smile. 🙂
I love this comment, Laura – thank you!
Christa, you are amazing, brave and strong. Thank you for sharing your story. I am sending you lots of love.
You are an amazing women. Sharing your story will help so many others.
Thank you for being brave and sharing your story! Been going through therapy for 6 years on and off since the divorce and never considered going to Alanon until recently, just made the connection to the exes erratic behavior to his alcoholism. Praying strength over you and all those affected by the choice to choose alcohol over health. It’s so destructive to the family, but God’s forgiveness, mercy and truth is greater than our sins!
I’m sorry for the pain but as you said, it can be a gift. These experiences make us who we are. You were obviously meant to have your son. As it turns out, as I’ve seen over and over again throughout the years, my guides are very smart. Sending love.
Wow….thank you for sharing so much courage and wisdom in this post! I recently divorced after only 3 months of marriage due to many of the same reasons. And shortly thereafter, got involved with yet another man who looked to me as someone he couldn’t possibly live without. Like you,I’m in a helping profession and it has taken me quite a while to regretfully admit you just can’t “save” everyone. So, single again! I can do this….decide what’s healthy for ME. And believing the BEST for you and your very precious son!
You are so brave and strong to share this vulnerable side of your life! Praying for you and Austin as you navigate life together! You’re amazing.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s been a blessing!
It is unbelievable, we don’t know what kind of experiences we need to pass through to heal and evolve.
However, it also brings amazing surprises and blessings.
Anyway, this ambivalent path worth it, because we’re becoming the best version of us, supported and guided by the hand of God.
God bless you and your beautiful baby!
Thank you, Christa, for bravely sharing your story to help others heal and see hope in their perils.Love holds us all as one. Peace and courage to you on your way!
Brave!!! Way to choose powerfully! Others will be encouraged by your story.
Congratulations Christa. You are a survivor, thank you for sharing your story. We never know what anyone around us is going, or has gone through. Each day is full of learning opportunities for us all! Enjoy your new little blessing, he is beautiful!
This was an awesome post. I do not have children yet and I have been thinking that it is so important to have a stress less pregnancy and to keep as much negativity out. However that can be rough on a person who is in a dysfunctional relationship. I wish you both love and light and blessed wishes for positive co-parenting.
Dear Christa, I too went through a divorce after 26 years of living with an alcoholic. Have two wonderful boys. It was THE hardest and BEST decision of my life – just like you said! Everything you wrote in this blog was what I experienced, except the physical abuse. He was kind and gentle and non-existent at the end and forced me out of the relationship. Never wanted to work on it and gave up me and our two sons for beer. He was sick in mind and eventually in body and it took him over like the stronghold it is. He died last June from alcoholism which led to lung cancer. My heart leaped when I first started reading your email. Wow, I thought she was the perfect picture of (fill in the blank). We don’t know what people go through, but I’m grateful that you found God and can lean and rely on His power and angelic force that’s with you and around you. Praise God you’re raising your baby boy with joy, peace, harmony and strength. I know for me, I was 50 years old when I left my former husband. I had never in my life lived alone. I geared up and did it. What a joy of a ride it was. God was with me all the way. I was alive again and never had a migraine head since. I’ve been remarried for 6 wonderful years and have a partner that is full of life and love. I pray to God that He will direct your path with His light and that He will be working behind the scene to orchestrate all the blessings you deserve, and eventually you’ll find your soul mate. I did and I know it can happen for you too!
All the best to you Christa, and thank you for sharing your story. You have come in to your power, medicine woman!
Amazing! Thank you for sharing. Such a hard but wise and empowering decision to make. I went through something similar almost 5 years ago and regret still seeps in sometimes, so I thank you for sharing because it is also a reminder to me that there is no question it was the right decision. Congratulations on your sweet little bundle of love! And congratulations on having amazing clarity to make the best decision for you and baby. 💗💗
This was brave to share and I thank you. Cherish every moment with your beautiful son and grab the good times with both hands. I wish you well with much joy.
Wow Christa had no idea you were going through pregnancy and motherhood as a single mom. You did great!
2 books I have read that have helped me heal from past abuse and self imposed expectations that weren’t mine to carry are “Coming Clean” and “Kill the Spider”. Can’t wait to read some of these on your list.
All the best to you and Austin! My oldest boy is 15, and I cannot be happier that you have a sweet firstborn boy that will become a fierce protector and support of his mommy without you ever asking or expecting it!
Wishing you continued light, love and joy Christa…your willingness to share this journey will empower many!
May God bless you and direct your path☀️
That was very well said. Congrats on the birth of your new baby boy! Congrats on knowing how to mother way before that baby arrived. Crazy how instinctively you know what is necessary for a child way before you ever meet that child. Very Scary choice to make but you are right in your decision. Glad to hear your have found yourself on the other side of this decision in a safe, happy place felling somehow whole again. It is the Journey isn’t it?
Very well written, Christa! Thanks for sharing, it’s very powerful. Congrats on your baby! I enjoy you so much and all the knowledge you give us 🙂
Thanks for sharing your story Christa. And congratulations! xo
Wow. I’m blown away and inspired by your bravery, honesty and strength. What a hard and beautiful decision. All my love to you and your little one. Let me know if there’s ever any way I can help! Always here!❤️